Eliga’s Death Star Café Wins Progress Award


Replacing the Officers’ Mess, Organic Café Wins Cultural Award from the Coalition for Progress

In the Officers’ Mess, fights were becoming commonplace. Many officers complained of the poor food quality, slow service from the slaves, and lack of credits for change. Rumors flew that the Mess had an atmosphere rivaling that of Chalmun’s Spaceport Cantina on Tatooine and Eliga Erutluc knew it wouldn’t be long before someone was killed. He quit his job as a hypermatter core specialist to serve organic meals from a pop-up kiosk outside the Mess Hall. Eliga felt that serving higher-quality meals would boost morale for the officers living on this ultimate weapon. The meals were made within a shorter timeframe and at a lower cost, creating a high demand for the delicious fare.

“It was unimaginable to us that this kiosk would replace the existing Mess Hall”, said General Moradmin Bast. Yet it was the General who saw the opportunity when he first sampled a Corellian style hotcake garnished with Seed Poppers. It had been given to General Bast for free after he was disturbed by the long line in front of the kiosk. “My first inclination was to arrest Eliga and destroy this unauthorized pop-up blocking my way to the Overbridge. Instead, Eliga convinced me to try his hotcake. One exquisite bite and I realized we could correct the situation in the Mess Hall. I immediately appointed Eliga Master Chef and granted him permission to rid the establishment of the slaves.”

Mr. Erutluc, who comes from Nashal on Corellia’s Twin World of Talus, decided to emancipate the slaves instead. “Mr. Erutluc treats us as equals”, said ex-slave Jax Pavan, “and lets us learn from our mistakes, instead of killing us for them”. The ex-slaves commandeered an unused drydock to convert in to a farmstead for the café’s food. “Supplying fresh food to the ultimate weapon’s Mess Hall was impossible, and we decided to create our own source.”, said a grateful Jax. It was the first of many collective decisions made by the liberated staff.

With Eliga’s new café now fully operational, notable guests such as Crueya Vandron appeared. Lord Vandron is a member of a select committee which governs the Coalition for Progress. Noting that all of the staff in sight were human, Lord Vandron bestowed the café and its owner with his newly created award for Human High Culture. He then called for this press release so that the galaxy may know what glorious opportunities await all citizens who are of service, like Eliga Erutluc.

In accepting the award Eliga said, “Thank you General Bast for believing in me, and to Lord Vandron for this extremely nice award. I have found while serving the officers on this superlaser that most are really very nice, friendly people. They just needed someone to show them they cared. Coming from Nashan, I can naturally do that with food. I’m glad they find relief in my café from the pressures of enforcing the Tarkin Doctrine. Thank you again for this award, and the opportunity to serve the Galactic Empire.”

Eliga’s café strives  to provide a quality food product and dining experience in a minimal amount of time, while adjusting to the needs of every patron. The café is committed to bringing autonomy and equity to all of its workers.

The Death Star is a battle station several hundred kilometers in diameter and mounting a directed energy superlaser capable of completely destroying a planet with a single shot. At the heart of the Death Star is a gigantic hypermatter reactor, possessing an output equal to that of several main-sequence stars.

Since service onboard the Death Star is a long-term affair, the station maintains a number of civilian amenities to make the time aboard a deep space station more comfortable. Parks, shopping centers, recreation areas, and taverns such as Eliga’s and the Hard Heart Cantina can be found in the general sectors of the station.

Contact: Lieutenant Adion Lang, Imperial Security Bureau Central Office on Coruscant


All Star Wars references to planets, people and organizations come from the Wookieepedia.


In a discussion with colleagues about our ability to make a difference with larger customers, I mentioned the scene in “Clerks” where the main characters discuss the fate of the contractors on the Death Star. We disagreed about what we may consider “evil”, or “bad” and that while we may not influence the overall culture, we might be able to make a small difference. That led to a tweet from Bob, which this expands upon.

Did you notice that Eliga’s name is just backwards Agile Culture? There are plenty of posts out there on this like this one, or this, which take on similar issues. Do you think Agile is making a difference? Can it?

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